Friday finds me staring out my window, as usual. Only today, it is my intention to do very little. Well, I�ll do enough to look productive and keep my program running, but I am very serious about giving my mind a rest today. Very.

You see, my brain is tired. I think too much. I’m in this constant battle of me vs. you, me against the world, just waiting for that first strike – that opening shot which will prove just how vulnerable I am. I guess I think that if I keep up enough defenses, and beat myself up just enough, no one else will have the chance. And, wooo is it exhausting.

Today, on this cloudy Friday, I’m having a fuck of a time trying to keep it together. The armored façade is slipping, and I’m beginning to wonder why I live with so much internal fighting. Maybe I should try something new? Perhaps try a little tenderness, as Otis so wisely suggests.

Yes. Today I will be good to myself. Therefore, I refuse to consider the following:

  • whether my boss likes me.
  • if sending my Father�s Day package off a little late to my Dadd-o makes me a �bad child.�
  • how many pretty girls will be at Lisa�s birthday Saturday, and how much prettier then me they will be.
  • how much weight I gained on vacation.
  • whether my shoes are too funky.
  • whether my shoes are funky enough.
  • how many people out there might not like my hair.
  • if maybe I should get it cut in case those people are right, and it looks worse than I think it does.
  • why I care about �those people.�
  • how Laura gets her eye make-up to look like that.
  • if maybe I should try to do mine like hers.
  • if I�m too mature to wear the frosted eye shadow in my bag.
  • how old is this eye shadow anyway?

    I will, instead, ponder these important topics:

  • shall I get more cocoa ?
  • my cleavage not only looks nice, today it smells yummy.
  • I like trees.
  • kitties are soft.
  • I won�t quite meet goal for my program this year, but I�ve surely worked hard this Spring and I�m proud of my efforts.
  • definitely more cocoa.
  • would be great to have sex tonight. bring this up w/the man.
  • �Saturday In The Park� [Chicago, 1972] is one of the best feel-good songs ever recorded.
  • Gary Sinese has such a trim little…

    There. Much better.

  • 3 thoughts on “Intentions

    1. Oh, yeah baby. Think happy, think you, think sex with the man, think Gary. And remember, when you’re on a crusade, you against the world, I promise – I am on your side.
      I bet you look dead sexy in frosty eye shadow. It’s too hot for cocoa here, though. I had spaghetti, myself.
      Love you. YOU.


    2. Dayum! Never realized Gary Sinise was such a tasty dish. For posting this picture, I will forgive you for liking Chicago. (though the one you mentioned is one of the least aurally offensive to me, i.e. I can stay in the building if they play it and not try to pop my eardrums with a letter opener)


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