Deepest Well

It has taken me days to get back to this entry.

I started something back on September 26, then the 30th, then again on Monday. I haven’t been able to finish a thing, except a short entry, which mostly contained an article by Al Gore.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I have finished lots of things; it’s just that none of them were here in my journal.


Work has been kicking my ass for weeks on end, starting with that unfortunate HR conversation and continuing into a sub-par performance evaluation last week. At the end of a painfully awkward hour with my boss, I received both my meager raise for the year, and a sudden and piercing resolve to make a change. I can’t go on like this. Until this job, I have always – always – received singularly excellent performance evaluations. I am a good worker, smart and creative and willing. I learn fast and take initiative – all of that stuff that managers and supervisors want and value.

Except mine, apparently.

To be fair, it’s not just the complete lack of supervision and guidance that is turning this position into a nightmare. It’s me, too. I have to admit that. But trying to determine which first crept into my bones like damp chill – my loss of morale or management problems – is like pulling a thread from a sweater you keep knitting and knitting and knitting (to paraphrase Pee Wee Herman).

Something’s got to give. And it’s going to.


How to transition to lighter subject matter? Like this:

Now for some lighter subject matter!

As I mentioned, my thirtieth birthday was splendid. Friends and family (some from as far as Indianapolis and Bloomington, IN!) came out to celebrate with me at a club in the nearby suburbs. We ate the best cake on earth, watched Schoolhouse Rock and bizarre educational films from the 70s (Keep Off The Grass!), and I laughed and smiled until it hurt. It felt great – I felt great. And the stuff! My friends and loves really went overboard with goodies and treats that were truly unexpected. I normally don’t like to brag about this sort of thing, so I’ll just mention this one gift that I’m still mooning over:

I know I’ve pledged my allegiance elsewhere in the past, so I’ll hope you’ll forgive my fickleness, but I love this iPod. I had no idea the depths of emotion I could feel over a small piece of pink-tinted metal.

My baby, he treats me so good.


In case you were wondering, it is indeed again time for the Month of Madness Project . I’m a little behind, having only watched two movies and four episodes of Dead Like Me (that’s horror, right? Right?), but have a lot of confidence in my ability not only to catch up with last year’s record, but to eclipse it. I’ll keep you posted. Andif you have some, send your movie recommendations this way.


My hand? Oh, that. It’s better. Cortisone and Dragon&#8482 Naturally Speaking&#174 dictation software have great improved my life. However, the indignity I suffered at the hands of the most callous, bigoted orthopedic surgeon in Illinois almost cancels out my progress. Almost. No, I’m too thrill to find my pain reduced by 80% and with the ability to get my thoughts out in print again (even if Dragon&#8482 mangles every third phrase or so), that I cannot dwell on that ass of a doctor. Just do me a favor: if you live in Illinois and need an orthopedic surgeon, do not see Dr. Ho Min Lim of Des Plaines. He is a cold, unprofessional, unethical bastard.

But, you know, I mean that in the nicest possible way.


So, that’s it for now. I have an appointment with a new surgeon next week; I don’t have to type but am more productive than I have been in weeks; I have the best spouse in the world; I have an iPod (!); I have days of horror movies to look forward to. And it’s Friday.

Hot damn.

3 thoughts on “Deepest Well

  1. Yeah, that iMP50 could never give you pretty pink sleekness, all simpilicty and a will to please. Glad you got one. Glad you love it.
    Glad your hand is improving, too!
    Do you think the change will mean leaving the company, or something more internal, a Meg change? Keep me posted, alright, doll?


  2. Well hot damn! You are on a roll. Good updates here. So sorry I missed out on your special day. But we’ll kick up our heels next month!!


  3. 🙂

    YOu e-mailed me… and I am apparently as slacker as anyone else on this planet. I will get to that shortly but wanted to read through the subsequent entries. *hug*

    I am sorry that surgeon was such an ASS. Dare we ask? Luckily I am not in your area. Well… not so lucky? 😉

    I am getting to know so many people in the Chicago ‘burbs lately that I am starting to wonder if that isn’t the place to be! There are unarguably fewer hurricans.



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